Why Carry Rocks?

My AA sponsor told me that when we give up drinking, most of us just change our seats on the Titanic. We change from one addiction to another. I know I substituted an addictive behavior for my drinking: I have to exercise every day. If I don't, I am uncomfortable in my body. I have another addictive behavior I've adopted. I'm not going to tell you what that one is.

Addiction (that includes addictive behavior ,of course) is a way to shut down the mind. What do we want to shut down? Our thoughts, those negative voices in our heads that cause our suffering, uncomfortable feelings. And not until we are ready to face the battle of understanding our lives , as the authors of Drop the Rock put it(I love calling it a battle; that's what it was for me having to face the beliefs I had hung onto for most of my life) can we become free.

I believe anyone who overcomes an addiction and practices emotional sobriety is a hero. I added "practices emotional sobriety" for a reason. My dad was sober from the time I was about two years old until I was twenty-one. But he was not happy or at peace with himself. He wasn't willing to battle with those beliefs about himself. Someone who has bravely gone into that battle and come out victorious. is a hero. He has learned a new way of being in the world, a new way of thinking, a new way of relating to others, and a new way of behaving as stated in Drop the Rock. And that isn't easy. It's a lot of work.

Some of us just aren't up to it. So we smoke, we binge on sugar, we gamble, we shop, we smoke marijuana, we work, work, work, or we compulsively check email or Facebook, and the list goes on and on. That is not freedom. A friend shared with me a quote which I can't remember exactly. It was something about being a slave to our body is not freedom. I am a slave to the scales! I weigh every morning! The number might break or make my day. I am working on that addictive behavior.

There's several people in my meetings who once they gave up alcohol they started putting on weight. Some of them a lot of weight. One of the men who are in this group brings doughnuts to every meeting he attends, smokes and then complains about how sickly he feels.

A way to mask feelings. A way to distract ourselves from feeling uncomfortable. Not a balanced way to live. Scared to face their feelings which come from their thinking: I'm not enough; I'm not worthwhile; I'm not successful. That list goes on an on also.

So here's what I will end with. A sentence from the book Emptiness. I say sentence because I am not quoting it. The gist is if we have to rely on altered states of experience for our freedom, that would not be freeing at all. To be free, we have to drop the rocks of our addictions and learn to handle our feelings like a balanced and mature adult. Those kind of people do exist. I know a lot of them. In fact, I'm leaving home in about ten minutes to go have lunch with one such person. And I bet you know a lot, too. You may be one. Lucky you.